So 2025 was a very different year for us. In our shared brokerage accounts, our net worth grew $142k. This includes our taxable brokerage accounts, and our IRAs.
Heres where it gets interesting. My mom's last husband was very well off. When he died, he had set up his will to where mom had a living estate interest in his house, a life insurance policy, and had moved a large six figure amount of cash into an account in her name. Plus she was the beneficiary on his traditional IRA. He had cashed out/sold investments to pay off his son's medical education debt and put him as the beneficiary for the house. (Read between the lines- this was planned. )
Mom fell prey to scammers to the tune of at least six figures (that I could ascertain) before she very relunctantly let me take over her finances. (This was AFTER we got her into an ALF. )
We were unable to make contact with the son M to let him know about mom's new living situation. So I was paying for the house expenses (no mortgage) as well as the ALF expenses. In consultation with a lawyer we decided to push through the probate on her late husband because the son had dropped the ball on it.
During this process, they found M and he decided that he wanted to finish probate himself. Cue a 18 month long process of getting the house sold. Plus another six months before we figured out how to get the funds in an account we agreed on. (Mom could use the proceeds for living expenses. Whatever was left went to M. Defining living expenses was a nightmare. )
Also during this time I brought mom's car here to NE and used it minimally. (Bro and I were in constant contact and discussion about all of this. However I was dealing with 99% of it. ) I managed to get into a car accident with her car... not my fault, but totaled. It had full coverage. I had been working in selling it for $18k. I got $26k from the insurance company. (2017 Toyota Camry, very low mileage. ) I did have to do physical therapy for four months on my right foot due to slamming the brakes. The other person wasn't hurt.
I found out through this whole process that being POA for someone isn't that easy. For example, I tried multiple times to close her Internet and phone accounts (she completely bricked two iPhones 
Nope. I couldn't answer the security questions and mom couldn't either. I even drove to Omaha to the nearest corporate AT&T location and there was nothing to do. So I stopped paying those bills. (Thank God for her neighbor lady! I leaned in her SO much through all of this. She sent the equipment back for me. ) Mom had her inherited IRA managed by the brokerage people. They were constantly selling and buying stuff inside of it - and charging 2% of the value. So it grew very little. I didn't learn until we were getting ready to move her here to NE that I could have converted it to a self managed account. It wasn't until my brother was on the phone with me that we were told that. Grrr!!!!!
The attorney/firm we used was a joke! So unreliable and unresponsive. In fact, the first lawyer was fired and our case was taken over by someone new - and we were not charged for anything more! (Because they knew they had majorly dropped the ball. )
So all of mom's expenses in 2024 were eventually covered by the house proceeds. The ALF, the hired care manager in TX, the ambulance and uhual trailer to move her to NE, and the hospice care nursing facility here. Also the cremation and funeral service costs. M got about $159k after all that.
A few weeks before mom died, I went ahead and did an RMD from her IRA so that I wouldn't have to worry about it for 2024. (She had another Traditional IRA in a CD!!! But I couldn't touch that until after she died. )
Then I tried to find a probate lawyer. (I thought I had made it so I wouldn't have to.. but the life insurance policy from late husband was turned into an annuity which had to be probated because there were no beneficiaries listed. ) The first person was a dud. After trying for nearly two months to get my case moving, I got a recommendation from a person at church and quickly switched.
New lawyer has me set up in less than two weeks to be able to do all the executive stuff. In NE, it's a minimum of five months for probate. Moms was very clear cut. We did have to pay inheritance taxes on it -including the leftover house money. Bro and I agreed to just pay M's portion to speed up the process.
Aftee all the fees, taxes, etc. we each got a little less than $400k. It could have been a lot more if I could have gotten control over the IRA sooner, or her finances sooner... but it is what it is.
I gave DH 19k, set aside 19k for myself, and put 19k into the house budget. I also opened a Donor Advised Fund and put $30k in there. At work I maxed out my 457 plus catch-up. In December I made a $30k distribution from the inherited IRA. (So essentially a tax wash. ) (The inherited IRA grew more than the managed one had, with only half as much in it !)
(I plan to do another $30k to the DAF this year, max my 457, and take at least $30k from the inherited IRA In 2027 I'll only take enough to cover my ROTH, and as much as I can put away to my 457 while maxing my check
I have been working with a financial advisor from Nectarine. Our household net worth is about 1.1 million plus the house. With my inheritance money, the house and DHs personal brokerage, we are at about 1.7 million.
DH will be retiring in August at 60. This had been our plan before any of this happened. I plan to retire in August 2034 at 58. (Early retirement requires 20 years).
Have I made any lifestyle changes? Yes, a few.
I have a housecleaner once a month. SO worth it!
I also in September started a compounded tirzapetide (GLP). (Mom would have heartily approved. )
I also have made some larger donations (besides the DAF) that I couldn't have done before.
I did get a little carried away for a few months (mostly buying stuff for my nieces) but am getting myself back into more normal mode now.
January 5th, 2026 at 03:28 am 1767583707
January 5th, 2026 at 06:52 pm 1767639151
If my mom would have been willing to be more proactive and trusting, a lot of the issues would have been solved. If your parents are willing, get your name added on EVERY account you can possibly think of as POA or a trusted person. Discourage using a living estate You can be named as a POA without having to actually do anything until certain circumstances arise.
Have your parents work with an elder law attorney to determine the best way to structure their estate to avoid probate. Don’t have your name put on their accounts (except as POA) or their house title. (The house title has tax consequences for you. If you inherit it, you get a step up basis. If they “give” it to you or “sell “ it to you, then you will owe taxes based on the original purchase price. ) Make sure that they have beneficiaries or PODs on every financial account.
Hopefully your parents will be more receptive to making your life easier than my mom was ….
January 6th, 2026 at 02:40 am 1767667202
On a brighter note, your financial picture looks great. Hope you and your hubby will move to bigger and better things soon!
January 7th, 2026 at 05:23 am 1767763393
January 8th, 2026 at 06:38 pm 1767897535
Enjoy the well-deserved fruits of your labor.
January 9th, 2026 at 04:47 am 1767934078
January 9th, 2026 at 06:27 am 1767940061
January 12th, 2026 at 02:33 am 1768185198
I wanted to use approximately 15% of my inheritance money for charitable purposes. But I didn’t want to give it all at once. Plus, due to the inherited IRA, I have to empty it n ten years or less. So I decided to do a DAF as part of an overall giving/tax strategy. I transferred appreciated stocks from my brokerage account, which will save capital gains later. This year I’ll do the same- so it reduces my capital gains by a large amount eventually. I added the equivalent amount of cash to my brokerage, and then rebalanced my investments. This also helps with capital gains and helps me put some into slightly safer funds.
I chose Fidelity for my DAF because they seemed to have the easiest interface for it, and had good investment options. I’ve been happy with them so far. I’ve made three distributions. Once I do this years contribution, I expect the funds to last around ten years knowing what I’m planning.